by Shapiro, J. and Shapiro, D.H.
(1993) Judaism as a Psycho-spiritual guide to a healthy relationship: A midlife perspective. Judaism and Psychology, 17 (3) 169-191
Supplemental Material: 25 years later – Relooking at the Article
Below are some writings on relationship, that include “healthy couples” (the first few articles) including a couple conjoint marriage counseling cases; then Parent Child Workbook and some Conjoint family therapy case write-ups.
For workshops and audio on The Changing Psychology of Men and Women: Beyond Sex Roles…Toward a Human Liberation; Pathways to Intimacy: Liberation, Cooperation, Commitment; Self-Control and Human Intimacy go to: Workshops and Media.
by Shapiro, J. and Shapiro, D.H.
(1993) Judaism as a Psycho-spiritual guide to a healthy relationship: A midlife perspective. Judaism and Psychology, 17 (3) 169-191
Supplemental Material: 25 years later – Relooking at the Article
by Shapiro, DH. and Shapiro, J.
(l992) Couples and Spirituality: A Jewish Perspective on Exile, Yearning, and Return. Journal of Couples Therapy, (1),77-96.
Reflections on the Indian Jewish Fairy Tale, The Golden Tree
by Shapiro, J. and Shapiro, D. H.
Self-control and relationship: Toward a model of interpersonal health. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 1984, 24, (4), pp. 91-116.
by Johanna Shapiro, Ph.D. and Deane H. Shapiro, Jr., Ph.D.
Well being and the path of relationship. In R. Walsh and D. H. Shapiro (eds) Beyond Health and Normality: Explorations of Exceptional Psychological Wellbeing. New York: Van Nostrand, Reinhold, 1983, pp. 207-214. (Chapter 7)
Additional comments on Relationship article from Johanna and Deane (2020)
Intimate Relationships: Qualitative Data About rewards and advantages of intimacy; the problems and disadvantages of intimacy; personal stumbling blocks that keep individuals from developing intimacy; personal qualities you have that facilitate intimacy; qualities you look for in an intimate relationship; intimacy in relationship to a person’s control profile (see controlresearch.net) e.g., their modes of control (assertive/accepting); their need/desire for control; their freedom reflex, their ability to surrender, trust, forgive. (This qualitative data comes from respondents attending a Mental Health Conference on the Psychology Of Health Care: Taking charge of your own life: how to do it, how to teach it” in Seattle and Chicago.
Deane H. Shapiro, Jr., Ph. D.
This dialogue on gay and heterosexual relations occurred between 1997-2000, and was prompted by a column and sermon on sexual orientation given by our Temple Rabbi. Allen Krause. A fellow congregant, who was also a friend with whom our families shared a havurah* group for several years publicly expressed concern about the Rabbi’s perspective. I wasn’t aware of this friend’s views in all the years we’d been friends, so I invited her to begin a dialogue– which is included here. I found this material recently (2023) in going through notes for an article/monograph my son, Josh, and I had been working on for the past decade. on inclusivity and co-existence. The intro letter to him summarizes the background to the dialogue. Johanna also shared (2023) her comments on the dialogue.
*A havurah group is a small group of like-minded Jews who assemble to facilitate Shabbat and holiday prayer services and share communal experiences.
These are workbooks/workshops that Johanna and I created for:
Hope you may find them helpful.
Comment in 2023 from Johanna and Deane rereading this:
We wrote these workbooks and first gave these classes in the early 1970’s at the start of our career. It is interesting to look at them, now, fifty years later. We are struck by a couple of things. One is how well they hold up as a foundational “blueprint” and incorporate some “timeless” truths in these areas
The second thing we are struck by is our Chutzpah! 🙂 When we put these together, we were in the early years (3-5) of our marriage. And we didn’t yet have children! (One on the way 🙂 ). Still, this material did provide a good framework for us in our own relationship, and with our children when they came along. Was raising kids (now 41, 47, and 49) and living a now 53 year marriage always simple? NO! Is our relationship with our children (and now six grandchildren) and with each other, the great blessing in our life? Absolutely. Very grateful.
Deane H. Shapiro, Jr., Ph. D.
This is a role play I created in a 1972 Values in Huma Behavior class about a couple making a decision regarding work and relationship. Little did I realize that seven years later Johanna and I would face this issue in own lives –with a sex role reversal to the script . Johanna received an excellent job offer in southern California (at U.C. Irvine School of Medicine) and Deane had good positions in Northern California. We decided on a third alternative: Johanna took the position, Deane continued with his work and commuted weekly for two and a half years. We also had learned to evolve a “roller skate” model taught to us by Robert Kantor. In the roller skate model, two people are holding onto a rope. At one point it appears the one in front is leading the other one behind is following. Yet, the one in front then pulls the one behind in centrifugal force fashion and that one now appears to be leading. Yet, they are working as a team, jointly working together. In this case honoring professional paths within a context of relational intimacy.
Deane H. Shapiro, Jr., Ph. D.
Client Asks “Who is in control?”: A Relational Vignette for teaching
Johanna’s comment: The questions at the end are excellent. It’s fine to keep my comment, it shows one way of responding to the situation. It’s an interesting scenario and certainly worth putting on your website.
Johanna’s comment: The value of this is seeing the step-by-step more behavioral approach to intervention after her negative experience with psychodynamic psychiatry, Also recommend putting this up. I value your honesty openness in your self-appraisal about how frustrated you were about not knowing how to motivate the client to face the abyss. No wonder! I thought the letter you wrote to her was superb, so empathic, encouraging. It showed you really cared about her and were thinking about her.
The material below describes work with a family (Father, mother teen age daughter) seen at Webster Center. The presenting concern was “an unmanageable out of control daughter. As the father noted, “We had reached a spot with our daughter when we were threatening juvenile hall and other drastic measures.”